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What people don’t understand about Life in the Army: Daughter of an Army Officer
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This article was originally published here on Youth Ki Awaaz
Nobody is a fan of loose talk and I am no exception. What boils up every drop of blood in me are misinformed conversations that give birth to misinformed opinions.
I recently overheard two so-called ‘educated, suited-booted gentlemen’ discuss the Pathankot terrorist attacks that killed seven of our brave soldiers. In a matter-of-fact manner, they discussed how the slain soldiers’ families will get ‘mota paisa‘ (a big amount) as compensation.
How and what could I possibly tell those men for whom the Army seemed to be just a four-letter word.
“Hume bhi fauj mein hona chahiye tha, bhai (We should have also been in the army)” – the conversation ended with a smirk and a smouldering cigarette butt on the floor.
I should have reacted, given it back to those guys, but I stood there – completely numb. How and what could I possibly tell those men for whom the Army seemed to be just a four-letter word.
The year began on a tragic note for the nation. Waking up to the news of terrorists attacking the Pathankot Air Force station shattered me. What followed were innumerable attack theories, high-level government meetings, blame-game and questions being raised on the country’s security mesh – things that typically happen after an attack in our country.
My father served in the Indian Army for 32 glorious years. Growing up, I always had my set of complaints. He never made it to even one of my parent-teacher meets, never saw me participate in any sports event, never took me school book-shopping. I do not have a count of how many of my birthday parties he missed. Why did it have to be my mother holding my finger and seeing me off at the school gate? Back then, I detested his attitude towards me.
I could never understand why dad spent hours gazing at an already shining uniform laced with glistening medals. I could never understand him staring at every fold of the uniform, trying to look for imperfections and then scolding batman ‘bhaiya‘ (designated Army help for an officer) for not doing his job well.
I tried hard to understand what was so different between my school uniform and his Army uniform, but could never really find an answer. For me it was a dark green dress that dad wore to office.
I could never understand his anger over a microscopic layer of dust on his uniform.
I tried hard to understand what was so different between my school uniform and his Army uniform, but could never really find an answer. For me it was a dark green dress that dad wore to office.
My father had a major share of his postings in field areas. This would mean that we would live in separated families’ quarters and not see him for months.
I still remember that winter afternoon, that red sweater, and my father at the door. He was on a month-long break. I was on cloud nine, 30 days of dad not going to work, 30 days of family time, 30 days of not suddenly going to mock drills at odd hours.
Bearing my non-stop rant, dad paused and suddenly asked me what class I was studying in. With a gulp down my throat and a shock in my tone I said, ‘papa, class 6.’
There was an uneasy calm between the two of us. I was in disbelief to see my inexpressive, yet affectionate father hug me for a long time. That evening we went to eat ‘golgappas‘ and chicken soup on our tiny-puny scooty. Life felt real that evening.
I was in class 7 when the 1999 Kargil operation took place. Though posted in the North-East during Operation Vijay, he was intensively involved in the intelligence corps.
For an entire year, visuals of bodies wrapped in the tricolour being carried in official vehicles, almost on an everyday basis, haunted me.
My mother and I were once again in separated quarters in Ambala cantonment (Haryana). For an entire year, visuals of bodies wrapped in the tricolour being carried in official vehicles, almost on an everyday basis, haunted me.
Screams of Army wives who lost their husbands still reverberate in my ears. Gun-salutes, a blanket of grief and an unspoken shared pain were a major part of our lives.
A year later, when dad came home, he had stories to tell me, stories of his ‘fauji experiences’. Something he had never done before. Maybe I was grown up to understand him, to make sense of his absence.
Episodes of young militants carrying AK-47s in milk containers, him getting frostbites in Kupwara district, being shot in the arm several times during combing operations – intrigued me. I could see the light in his eyes, the soaring passion which made me realise he wouldn’t trade any of this for all the glitter in the world.
He retired in September 2007. Sitting on the couch he said, “That uniform there, it is my pride and honour, a well-deserved fruit of 2 years of rigorous military training, a commitment to my nation. Something only I can understand. It was more than a job for me.”
Yes, it hurts when people casually comment on the free ration, the pension and the so-called perks that Army personnel get. Remember, most of them don’t live through their entire life to avail them.
I see that passion in every man in uniform. For me disrespect to that uniform is personal. Yes, I see my father in Late Lt. Col. Niranjan Kumar, in Garud Commando Gursevak Singh, in Subedar Fateh Singh, in every NSG commando, in every soldier.
Yes, it hurts when people casually comment on the free ration, the pension and the so-called perks that Army personnel get. Remember, most of them don’t live through their entire life to avail them.
One cannot expect every Indian to forcefully respect the forces, but remember– an officer dying in the line of duty cannot be fodder for a casual conversation – remember he had a family like you, aspirations like you, unluckily life didn’t give him another chance.
Courtesy: http://www.youthkiawaaz.com/2016/01/living-as-an-army-child/
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19 thoughts on “What people don’t understand about Life in the Army: Daughter of an Army Officer”
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in December 2010 I was going to attend the PoP of my elder brother n there in train my co-passenger a well educated civil engineer in his 40s started a conversation. i replied to one of his questuon that i am going to attend my bro PoP and his instant reply was that there is nothing in joining military. i wanted to tesch him a bitter lession instantly on the spot. but I was numb I did not speak a single thing to that men bcoz i know it was futil to argue a stupid.
so the world is full of ppl who think like him. for them Army just mean thumping boots, following orders without thinking , free ration, canteen n liquor.
but they fail to understand that the Freedom they are enjoying is bcoz of the sacrifice of these men in uniform. bcoz they paid price of this freedom with their blood. no amount of money can ever make the losses bear by families of these ppl in uniform. Army is never about a well paid job for those who are lucky to join it it’s more than mere a job. it’s about the Respect n Honor about the faith of 1.3 billion ppl. so let it be what others felt. its important that we knows and respect what ours near and dear ones are doing.
jai Hind
Almost every daughter or son of ARMY person hears or gets comments on ARMY… Even me.. I have never or ever in my life stop reacting to any sh*t about ARMY coz our pain, wait, tears and life cannot be ever understood by any civilian coz for them it’s just 3Ps…Perks, Pension & Parties. But we have only 1 P and it’s PRIDE.
This article is an answer for ppl who think negative about ARMY…. I feel they should be thinking for a minute about how INDIA will be without ARMY.
Salute to every Soldier and their families.
Jai Hind!!!!
Everything in this article is very true. Only those people who are in actual role are main sufferer but cannot say anything about it to anybody and do not complain to anybody. They themselves just suffers at their own and they cries inside their heart. Those things are not easy to elaborate in words and there is much more than this which cannot be elaborated in words. Jai Hind !
Tears are there in my eyes.. its the same … hats off daddy..proud to be a daughter of an army person (Y)
Very 2 true.
Stay blessed.
just hope people who read this understand what is Life in Army all about…
Each and every word is so true but unfortunately many people won’t understand it. The separation , and missing every bit of their child growth…..only soldier and their family can understand. But no matter what other say or think about their life, few of them are their to always motivate them , to stand by their side and to tell them that we are really proud of them. Not everyone get chance to become a soldier…..SALUTE TO OUR REAL HEROES .
I really wetted my eyes because first time I read such an heart touching article regarding us. God bless you my dear daughter.
Today I was reading about Indian War heroes on MSN today. It spoke of Major Som Nath Sharma, Capt Khetrapal, and others…and the only thought was “of which metal are these people made of?”. Can the chaps, you overheard, even begin to understand? They are utterly ignorant about the price of freedom.
Leave them be. They are not worth your time or angst. They are only worthy of pity.
Many see Defence Forces as ‘Service’ but there are many look at it as naukari…the countryman who see through ‘service filter’ can appreciate your writing, but many does not believe so and they call it as Naukari. But life like that..At least now head count is matching number of coffins, the plight of Indians went to Congo (Pre-independance) , Japan (INA) not even known. Ignore those who comments adverse, after all Noble and Evil are part of life.
I do not have an army background but i still feel that these are the real men and their families are the most blessed, beautiful and have the strongest members like you… Now that my brother soon would be an airforce pilot… I feel utmost satisfaction and proud of him… And while naming my son i would always see how the name sounds with different army ranks… Hoping that he would join the most prestigious and nobel profession.
Civilians never can understand the life of SOLDIERS. Even Politicians of our Country say that ” People join services for free liquor, ration, and they are here to die, for which they are paid.” If you have this mentality of people then what can be expected from Civilians, as respect and dignity towards soldiers. Current you see the Soldiers have compelled to become a beggar to as for their own Pension and Family Pension.Time is not too far when Politicians and IAS Babus will be compelled to stand as guard in LOC
Can relate to every word written here…… Too difficult to forget those years in cantonment….getting jitters during kargil war…. alot of respect to all the people in forces….everyone can’t really feel it….
RESPECT and only RESPECT
Salute to our forces
Grt story & fact written by a daughter. Being a son of highly dedicated IB officer, I know & can imagine some of the pains she has written… Thanks for writing the facts… The civilians must understands the pain points & respect the feelings…
I congratulate the young lady for articulating her thoughts with passion.However, publishing this in IDR is of little value as the readers are mostly defence personnel and are aware of the travails of serving personnel. It should be posted in the mainstream media.
Second, the politicians are mostly ignoramus and self-serving nincompoops. They deserve nothing but contempt. It’s too much to expect them to be sensitive and understanding.
A nation that ignores its soldiers comes to peril. I hope it doesn’t happen to India notwithstanding these blithering idiots.
This article described it best as what the Army uniform means and what a passionate army officer is like.
Respect for all soldiers n officers…
We share your feelings. The country is proud of the sacrifices made by the armed forces and their families. Don’t be disheartened by a few mindless statements made by few ungrateful people…however painful they may be. God Bless
So very true…as an army daughter I share your angst and feelings about how people casually talk about the armed forces, how our services have been taken for granted by the citizens, bureaucrats & politicians alike. Thank you Amrit Mann for voicing your thoughts…more of our ilk must.
Compulsory Military service for every able bodied men , at least five years with compulsory 2 year posting in Siachen.
Only then civilian will understand the importance of Armed Forces , it’s tough professional and personal life.