Indian Defence Review

It was 22nd of Sep 2015, just an ordinary day, when he was taking a break from the firing in the evening. He had recently joined Instagram as well, and was trying to get used to the app. He left a comment on a random photo of mine on Insta, saying how good my husband has always been, because he left his game of golf half way, just so that he’d come back home before I woke up on a Sunday morning. Maj Dhruv would never stop taking our case over that one stray incident. I was so embarrassed then, and I’m so embarrassed even now for that! And while I read his comment, I could totally imagine the wicked smile he must have had on his face when he wrote that.

His smile, people say, was infectious – sweet, naughty, wicked; you’d never know what he’s thinking. And along with that smile of his, came “Saala”! He had a particular drawl when he said that. And for a person who rarely used fowl words, that was one slang that was always on the tip of his tongue. Never in a bad way though…always fondly. If he ever called you “Saala” you’d know he loves you. And he loved to tease people. It’s crazy how he’d remember the minutest details and pull your leg later about it. He didn’t even spare his darling wife. Surbhi was way too scared of lizards, and Dhruv got a plastic model home which he’d place on her hand every day and torture her! That was their love…Stupid, crazy and immortal. They meant the world to each other.

On the eve of 22nd Sep, he sent Surbhi a photo of him on the tank, looking as dashing as ever. And the cutest thing was the heart he made on the photo before he sent it to her. Surbhi had been teaching him how to use all these cute things.

That night Surbhi went to sleep peacefully in her room, kissing the photo he had sent her earlier that evening. They’ve been waiting eagerly for the time when this long distance ordeal would end and they’d be together. And meanwhile, that night, Maj Dhruv continued to fire the mighty tanks at the field firing exercise…till something happened. Something so bad that would change lives forever. A stray shrapnel came from nowhere and hit Maj Dhruv in the neck. A shrapnel in the neck! He left us.

We got the devastating news and didn’t know how to react. It wasn’t sinking in. We stayed awake the entire night wanting to call Surbhi, and then stopping myself with the only hope that somebody would just shake us up and tell us it’s not true. It’s not him!

I arrived in Delhi a day later, completely shaken. I had no idea how I would face Surbhi, and what i would say to her. I reached her place and met her mother, and other relatives. There was a huge crowd. I was in a trance, my eyes looking for her. I’ve been constantly telling myself that I wouldn’t cry and that I have to give Surbhi all the strength in the world. And then I met her. She hugged me tight and said in my ears – “woh Chala Gaya”! I couldn’t hold my tears any longer. We hugged and cried.

I saw all our Doon friends sitting in the room. We’ve been wanting to meet for a long time, but this wasn’t the way it should’ve happened. Grim faces and teary eyes, there was silence in the room. Surbhi was strong and composed beyond imagination. She was having her weak moments and breaking down from time to time, but the strength she showed was exemplary. I noticed her tummy, she looked fully pregnant. Knowing how cute she is, I had longed to see her being all cutely pregnant. But now, I couldn’t bear to see her! She remained brave, calm and composed – all for the little one.

Two days later, a memorial meet was being held for Maj Dhruv. Surbhi met everyone as gracefully as ever. The hall was filled beyond its capacity, just went on to show how much Maj Dhruv was loved. Friends and colleagues shared stories and anecdotes. We laughed. We cried. And then came Surbhi on the stage. She read out a poem in his memory, and finished it off with the battle cry of Maj Dhruv’s unit. She had the same vigour and fierceness in her voice when she said it aloud. That was a proud moment for everyone sitting there. What a mighty brave girl she is!

Gradually everyone had to leave, including me and that is exactly what we didn’t want. We didn’t want to leave Surbhi alone in her misery. Her family was of course, by her side, but we wanted to be there as well.

I felt guilty coming back to my life. Even though I kept telling her that I’d be there for her, but was I actually there?! I kept asking myself. In our whatsapp conversations that followed, I couldn’t dare to ask her how she was. Instead I asked how her health was. Thankfully she had been taking very good care of her health. We’d talk almost every 2 days, but it wasn’t the same. I was scared to ask her anything. I was scared that I’d end up saying something wrong. I didn’t know what to say exactly except for the fact that I just wanted to be there for her. There were days when she’d be brave and strong and talk about practical things. And then there were days when her despair would just come through in her words. She’d ask how she would do everything without him, all the things that they were meant to do together…and then she herself would say that she knows Dhruv is with her, watching over her and he’ll be there for her forever.

One day she broke down completely. The day when an official letter arrived where she had to sign as the “widow” of “Late Major Dhruv”. How could she do it? Dhruv may have left, but she knew he’d be there for her always.

Surbhi is heartbroken. But this brave woman has been picking up the broken pieces and fitting them back in her jigsaw puzzle. The other day she sent me a photo of the collage she has made for her room. It has all the photos of Maj Dhruv, that she must’ve sneakily taken on their anniversary. It made me cry. I didn’t tell her that though.

I’ve been waiting to write something about Surbhi and Maj Dhruv since the incident. But I refrained. May be because it had a sad ending. But today I did. Because amidst all the sadness, the silver lining that Maj Dhruv had left behind, has finally arrived in this world. Their little prince arrived on 15th Nov, and he’s the silver lining who’ll bring back happiness in Surbhi’s life. We all are waiting eagerly to see that vibrant smile back on her face.

It also happens to be their anniversary in two days. They’ll turn 4!

(Meanwhile, it’s a promise to myself and to her, that once the baby is a little older, we’ll go back to Landour to relive all the happy memories. And also we’ll try and make our Euro trip happen, only this time it won’t be just girls anymore…our little Prince Charming will be a part of the group.)

Be the rock that you are my Darling girl Surbhi, and your Dhruv star will continue to shine on you!